Monday, May 10, 2010

Where I Wanna Be

Have you ever wanted something so bad and then when you finally get it, you're not sure if its what you truly wanted? Its been two years since Ive met him and we finally decided to see where this "love thing" would take us and now Im not so sure. Great friends? Yes. Makes me laugh. Check. However, I guess Im the type of girl that like her chocolate cake and boy do I love chocolate cake and Im definately not letting it go to waste! We've been together for an entire month, day in and day out, but I feel like moving on. As I write this, I recall the time I had a lunch date with one of my girlfriends and I told her that I wasnt sure where I wanted to be with him because I want to continue to date other people. She asked me if I would be okay if HE dated other people...huh? Girl, dont you know that Im made up of double standards?? Of course I would mind. Selfish, I know but I always like to keep my guard up and have something to keep me going, and thats until he puts a ring on it! Honestly, I want to be with one person, but past realtionships have made it hard for me to truly give my all to one person, and end up shit-faced. My mind is ready, but Im not so sure that my heart is. Im torn between ending random hook-ups to be with one person who may end up disappointing me. I just need to some time to think about where I want to be...

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